Bitterness
by jane3876
Summary: With that she strode from them and out of the guild, the heavy wooden doors slamming shut loudly behind her. Natsu winced at the sound and couldn't help but feel as though the sound punctuated the loss of something he would never get back. No one knew that would be the last time any of them would ever see Lucy Heartfillia again.
1. Chapter 1

**Bitterness**

Lucy choked around a laugh. "You're kidding, right?" Looking from face to face in the small group gathered around her, her smile began to die and her eyes widened. "_You're kidding, right?_" she asked again, a hint of hysteria painting her voice.

In front of her Gray looked away with a small frown, a hand coming up to rub the back of his head. Natsu shuffled his feet and looked down at the floor. Erza kept her gaze strong and steady with Lucy's.

Lucy bit her lip and looked away, a bitter laugh bubbling up.

"So that's it? You're done with me just like that, huh?"

Natsu's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed at her words. Stepping forward, he took her hands in his and made her look at him. "No, that's not what we're saying at all! We just…" he dropped her hands and had to look away from her gaze; her hopeful, _pleading_ eyes.

When she saw that Natsu wouldn't be able to finish what he was saying, Erza stepped forward, her face an emotionless mask that she had perfected through years of battles and haunting memories. "We just think it's best for everyone involved."

"Best?" at her words, Lucy's eyes snapped to her and her lips pulled back in a tame snarl, her face flushing in anger. "Best for _who?_ Best for Lisanna? Best for you? Who is it best for, Erza? Because from where I stand, this doesn't seem like its best for anyone but you right now."

Erza's eyes sharpened and she frowned. "Stop it, Lucy. Don't make this more difficult than it has to be."

Lucy stepped back and chuckled bitterly, her hands fisting at her sides as she fought the tears, the sense of _betrayal_. "Oh, I am _so_ sorry for making this more difficult. I'm sorry that it hurts that my own team is _ditching_ me. I'm sorry if I feel a little bit bitter that all those times of blood, sweat and tears that we shared over the years, mean _nothing _when _she_ shows up! I'm _so sorry_ that I ever gave a shit," she bit out darkly.

At her language, Natsu's head snapped up and his eyes widened. He had never known Lucy to curse in all his time knowing her. He had seen her cry, scream, bleed, but never, _never_ had he heard her curse. And never before had he seen such hurt and betrayal in her brown eyes. He felt his heart twist painfully but forced himself to stay. After all, he was the one who proposed this idea to tell Lucy that they didn't need her anymore, that she should go off on her own and train to get better.

_Don't sugar coat it,_ a voice bit out that sounded suspiciously like Lucy in his mind, _You're leaving her just because Lisanna came back. Don't pretend it's anything else._

"Fine," Lucy said finally, after a heavy silence had fallen over the group. She took a step back and held up her hands, her lips pressed tightly together to keep herself from letting the tears through. She had to swallow around a thick knot in lodged in her throat and felt her eyes burn bitterly.

_Don't you dare, Lucy_, she told herself. _Don't you dare cry in front of them. _

"I'll just leave you guys alone. I'll save you from my _horrible, weak_ presence. Have fun on the mission guys."

Scowling, Lucy tried to stride past them, toward her apartment where she could break down, face the pain that was churning bitterly in her stomach like lead. But she would be _damned_ if she broke down in front of them. They didn't deserve to know just how much their rejection, no their betrayal, tore her to shreds and left nothing but bitterness, horrible _bitterness_ in its wake.

As she passed Natsu, he laid a heavy, warm hand on her shoulder and made her freeze. At his touch, she had to close her eyes on a tidal wave of pain that racked through her heart at the feel of his heat.

God, how could they do this to her? After everything they had been through?

"Lucy, please," his voice said next to her, a touch of desperation laced into its tones. Her hands fisted at her sides as she fought to keep herself in control of her emotions. "Please, don't hate us for this. Please don't leave us because of this."

She stiffened in his hold and her head snapped up. His eyes widened in alarm when she whipped her head in his direction and he felt a sharp stab of pain when he saw the tears the fell soundlessly from her angry eyes. "If I'm not mistaken, _Natsu,_" she spat out his name like it tasted foul on her tongue. "_I'm_ not the one doing the leaving." She looked away and jerked her shoulder out of his grasp. "Good luck on your mission, guys. I hope it was worth it."

With that she strode from them and out of the guild, the heavy wooden doors slamming shut loudly behind her. Natsu winced at the sound and couldn't help but feel as though the sound punctuated the loss of something he would never get back.

No one knew that would be the last time any of them would ever see Lucy Heartfillia again.

* * *

_(AN: Now, don't get me wrong. I would NEVER think that they would actually do this to Lucy and I like Lisanna fine, but I just got so sick of reading all these stories with Lucy getting dumped and she just left quietly. Honestly, I don't think she would. This is just my idea of what would happen if they did abandon her. But then again, I get angry thinking about it, so that might have made my take on it a little bit biased. Oh well. I'm sorry if you totally hated it, but I had to write it. And I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with it, or if I want to continue it. If you have any ideas, please tell me, I'm open to all suggestions! I regret nothing. I hope you liked it.)  
_

Jane


	2. AN

AN: THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE TO THIS STORY.

Dear Readers,

I apologize for making you think that I updated this story, but I thought you deserved an explanation from me. Because I'm so focused on my other stories for Fairy Tail and Inuyasha that are by no means anywhere near complete, I have decided for now to make this story a one-shot. I'm sorry for those of you that wanted me to make it a multi-chaptered story, and perhaps on day I will, but not right now. I'm sorry if this disappoints some of you and I hope you can forgive me. I adore you for all the support you have given me and this story and all the support I have gotten for all my other stories as well, it meant so much to me. So for now, I will list this story as complete and maybe one day I can revisit it.

I love you all!

Jane


	3. Part Two

Part Two

Lucy ran blindly, frantically. Her eyes were sightless, her breathing coming in quick erratic gasps as she stumbled and _sprinted_ her way to safety. A place where she could face what had happened, what she had just lost.

Cursing herself, she ran an impatient hand over her eyes as tears blurred her vision. Seeing her apartment looming in the distance, she felt her legs quiver. Horrible, racking sobs tore from her raw throat and her chest tightened to the point of pain. Slamming the door behind her, her legs could no longer hold her body weight and she fell to her knees on the floor.

_How-How could they do this to me? I don't…I don't know what to do!_

* * *

"You did _what?" _Lisanna cried, her face a mask of dawning horror. In front of her, Lucy's former team looked at each other in sudden doubt.

"We, uh, we told her she should train on her own from now on, you know? So she could get stronger…" Natsu said hesitantly.

Lisanna's wide blue eyes looked from one face to the other, noticing that none of them would meet her accusing gaze. In her chest, the air left her lungs and she felt panic take hold in her heart.

"You _abandoned_ Lucy? How could you do that!" she cried, taking a step forward. Her searching eyes begged and pleaded for them to tell her they were kidding; begging for Lucy to step through the guild doors with a wide smile. But she never did and no one would meet her eyes.

She curled in on herself, her knees coming up to her heaving chest and her trembling arms wrapping around her body as she tried to keep the pain, the betrayal from tearing her to pieces. She could feel it in her chest. The pain tore her heart to shreds, punched a harsh jab to her gut, _ripped_ the tears from her wide, sightless eyes.

"We didn't abandon her," Erza said softly, her arms crossed over her chest, but her eyes still wouldn't meet Lisanna's.

"Then tell me what else you call it when you kick a valuable member of your team off for someone else? How could you do that to your _nakama_?" Lisanna felt a curl of disgust take hold of her. This did not seem like the type of thing that her friends would do to Lucy. Since she'd come back, she had seen each one of them fight for her, she had seen Lucy fight for each and every one of them in return.

So how could they just suddenly turn their back on her?

* * *

Rocking onto her knees and bracing her hands on the ground, she fought for control. Control over her emotions, control over her breathing. Air seemed to be torn from her lungs as soon as she sucked it in, making her have to take quick gasping breaths. Her heat couldn't seem to beat properly, its erratic beat drumming in her ears and drowning out all other sounds.

* * *

"We just wanted for you to be on our team, Lisanna," Natsu said, an expression of earnestness on his face.

She turned her accusing eyes to him and frowned. "That didn't mean you had to _kick her out_, Natsu! It's not like we hate each other. I like Lucy. She likes me. I just don't understand why you would do something like this to her. What did she do to deserve this?"

At the face of her words, her friends felt ashamed, disgusting, _disgraced_. How could they have been so thoughtless? How had they justified breaking the heart of one of the strongest one of them? How could they look at her again and know what they had done?

* * *

Anger began to heat her blood. She bared her teeth in a snarl and her hands fisted in the carpeted floor.

How could they do this to her? What kind of _nakama_ were they? Did she mean _nothing_ to them?

Jerking her arm back, she punched the floor beneath her with all her strength, her arm vibrating from the impact. Gritting her teeth, she took no notice of the pain. Again and again, her knuckles impacted the floor. She kept at it as her skin split from the power of the strikes and blood began to soak through the cream colored carpet.

Tears ran unbidden from her red eyes, falling from her flushed cheeks to wet the carpet and turn the blood a light pink.

* * *

"I can't believe you guys," Lisanna muttered, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away from them, anger coloring her face. "She loved you, every last one of you. Especially _you_, Natsu." At her words, he winced and looked down at the floor. He wasn't sure which was worse, Lisanna's anger or the memory of Lucy's angry and betrayed face.

She turned back to them, a sudden light in her eyes. "You go find her," she said firmly. They looked up at her in surprise. "Go find her and tell her you were wrong. Tell her you love her, because we all know you do. Tell her you take it all back. Go right now and tell her!" She paused and scowled. "She might not forgive you. I wouldn't really blame her if she didn't. But the only way to salvage even a small part of what you had with her, you have to go apologize. All of you. Go! _Now_!"

They shared a startled look, panic beginning to take hold of them. They might have lost Lucy forever because of their carelessness, because of their selfishness.

"Let's go, guys," Natsu said softly, his eyes hard. "We have to go get Lucy back while we still can."

* * *

Exhausted, Lucy curled into a ball on her floor, her eyes clenched shut and occasionally tears squeezing their way past her lashes. Her breathing was deep and even, her face a blank mask. While her team hurried to find her and get her back, they didn't realize that they had already lost Lucy, and they would never get her back, not completely, ever again.

* * *

"_Lucy!_"

Natsu shot up with a gasp, sweat falling down his face and sliding between his shoulder blades. His breathing came in erratic puffs and the fear still made his heart race in his chest.

"Natsu?" a sleepy feminine voice called from next to him, drawing his attention to her. From beneath the covers, a brown eye, hazy with sleep and concern, blinked up at him, blond hair coming forward to fall onto her forehead. "Are you okay?"

He took a shaky breath and reached forward to wrap his arms around her and pull her roughly against his chest. At his actions, Lucy's eyes widened and she gasped. As he clutched her against him, she could feel minute trembles rack his body and felt a surge of fear.

"Natsu? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

He buried his head against her neck and simply breathed her in a moment. Finally, once he was sure the fear was gone, along with the panic the dream had brought him, he spoke. "No…no, just a horrible dream."

Lucy wrapped her arms around him and turned her face to kiss his cheek. "Then come back to bed. You're shaking."

He nodded wordlessly and let her pull him back beneath the covers, but his grip never slackened. They stayed that way for awhile until Natsu could confidently loosen his grip on her without fearing she would slip from his fingers as she had done in his dream.

She pulled back and framed his face with her hands, smiling gently at him, the dim lighting making her eye sparkle warmly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He felt the tension leave him at the sight of her smile. He hadn't lost Lucy to his stupidity; she wasn't leaving him or the guild. She was in his arms and she wasn't going anywhere. "I dreamt that…I lost you because of my stupidity."

Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head, her smile brightening. "You don't have to worry about that. I don't think there's anything you can do that would ever take me from you."

He smiled at her and pulled her back against his chest, breathing a sigh of relief.

_That's right Lucy. I will never do anything to make me lose you. I…I wouldn't survive it_

* * *

_(AN: Now, I know you probably hate me and you probably think I opted out with this ending, but before you make your lynch mob, let me explain my reasoning. _

_When I had initially made this story, it started out as a one shot, just to satisfy myself after reading so many horrible Lucy-gets-abandoned-for-Lisanna stories. But then you guys began to respond and encouraged me to think of a whole plot line where Lucy gets stronger, kind of becomes a little like Edolas Lucy and yadda yadda. But then, as I was about to begin to write it, I couldn't make myself do it. A part of me just couldn't see Natsu and the others doing this to Lucy and my mind physically rebelled at writing them doing so. That was when I made the AN. But then, as time went on and you guys supported my decision and requested that I rethink it, I did. However, like I said, I just couldn't write my original plot line. And then this happened. I kind of like it, but I kind of hate it as well. I REALLY hope you guys aren't disappointed in me and my decision, but I figured this was better then letting you hand onto a thin thread of hope that I MIGHT continue a story that I had no desire to write. I truly adore you all and I'm horrible sorry if this disappoints you.)_

_Jane_


End file.
